Food and Drink

Nick Miller's 12 Best Quotes About Drinking

FOX / getty images
FOX / getty images
FOX / getty images

Nick Miller of New Girl delivers plenty of unique opinions-like, “If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called ‘talkings,'” or, “I’m not convinced I know how to read. I’ve just memorized a lot of words,” or “I don’t trust fish. They breathe water… That’s crazy.” But as a bar owner, his best tidbits of wisdom are saved for the subject of drinking. And because you should always take advice from a self-professed 30-year-old bartender without health insurance, we gathered Nick’s best lines about all things booze.

On making serious cocktails at the bar

“I only want to make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.'”

On immune systems

“I’m not going to get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65 percent beer.”

On healing

“You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.”

On models drinking vodka through their butts

“Did you just say ‘butt-drinking?’ You can’t say ‘butt-drinking’ and not explain what it is. That’s two of my four favorite things!”

On responsibility

“I can’t believe I’m the sober one. That’s actually never happened before in my life.”

On bar crawls

“You can’t fight the crawl! It’s like fighting a hurricane.”

On pick up lines

“You’re a whiskey girl, like me.”

On reasons for drinking

“Drinking to forget? That’s my sweet spot!”

On scotch tastings

Nick: “Well nothing brightens up a rainy day like a scotch tasting, guys.”

Winston: “It’s not raining today. It hasn’t rained in months.”

Nick: “Shhh, don’t ruin the moment.”

On good news

“Here’s the good news, lad. We have a solution. It’s God’s gift to man: It’s alcohol.”

On cooking with booze

“Let me know when my whiskey boils down to a crystal so I can eat it.”

On Midori Sours

Schmidt: “Is this ‘my favorite bedspread’ all over again?”

Nick: “That was a handmade gift my nanny gave me that you spilled a pitcher of Midori Sours on and now you bring it up like it’s nothing?”

Schmidt: “I left you a check for $30 on your pillow. Your nanny gave you that thing for free so as far as I’m concerned you’re up 30 bucks.”

Nick: “My nanny is dead. I’m not looking to make money off of her.”

Schmidt: “I will not apologize again for the Midori Sours!”
Nick: “Who drinks Midori Sours?!”

Schmidt: “Everyone drinks Midori Sours!”
Nick: “No they don’t!”

Schmidt: “It’s a melon liqueur.”

Nick: “I would never drink that!”
Schmidt: “It’s an American classic with age and influence!”

Food and Drink

Red Rooster Is Serving Free Chicken and Piping Hot Cash This Christmas in July

Get your early dose of festive cheer.

Red Rooster Christmas in July
Instagram / @redrooster_au

The cold weather in most parts of Australia coinciding with EOFY celebrations is the closest thing that we’ll get to snowy Christmas vibes. And if you’re in dire need of some festive cheer after the first six months of 2023, grab your ugly sweater and head to your nearest Red Rooster for Xmas in July deals.

From June 29 – July 31, 2023, Red Rooster is serving up free food items, a chance to win $10,000 or one of 10 merch packs valued at $400 and other fun prizes. All you have to do is sign up as a Red Royalty member and spend $5 on at a location near you or online.

Each week there’ll be new delicious deals and prizes to win. The week one deals have already dropped and they’re looking pretty tasty. You can get access to them via your Red Royalty account. The more you purchase, the more chances you have to win.

Spoiler alert: you can get 10 chicken nuggets for free, right now. Brb running to Red Rooster.

Terms and conditions apply. Visit Red Rooster’s Christmas in July to see all the deals.

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